the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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