hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
