His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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