He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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