Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
