Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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