I like to think it a success when the cops are called
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
