using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
