so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We had to coat check the pizza.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
