Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
