This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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