Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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