its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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