Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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