So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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