she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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