Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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