I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
