it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize