she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
