Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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