I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
