Porn is love you can see.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
