Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Walk of Shame today included voting.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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