this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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