He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
