It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
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He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
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I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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