Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
jump out the window naked night went bad
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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