Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Can you bring me the toilet please
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
