so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
