I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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