If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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