The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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