You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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