i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
