You're my little dorito
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
