Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dignity is for republicans.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
