Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize