i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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