Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
