Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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