jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we're making bets on your personal life
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize