I'm lost and stupid without you.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize