He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i need some magic done to my vagina
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
