you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
