I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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