Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
