What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
