4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize