Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.