my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.