I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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