You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
