why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
