I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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