Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
