Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
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