so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
