Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
