Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The adults are the big ones right?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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