Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
