New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
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